Talking.

No one forgets their first love. I believe this to be true, true for me at least.
We met on a Friday night when I was 14, a freshman in high school. We met through mutual friends, Bryson and Tristan. We went to an old abandoned school to hang out. I was “sacred” so I grabbed his arm. Everything exploded that night we met. I have always considered it to be romantic. Alex lane, the dirty blond older boy who destroyed my heart. Maybe not?
Tristan was one of my best girlfriends since we were in middle school. We spent a lot of time together after Alex and I started dating. Her dad was abusive and so she came over to my house a lot. We would just hang out. When Alex and I were first started dating she decided to run away, he and her boyfriend Bryson. She spent the night with me and then we all met up Alex and Bryson, me and her. They stayed on the streets and with friends, we cut off all of Brysons hair in front of the horseshoe cafe. Alex and Bryson were best friends.
Alex and I spent a lot of time at his house, his family loved me. I loved him. I lied to him. About my age and my middle name when we first met. I never got the strength to tell him after we got serious so I hid that fact. He hid things from me too. Like Cassy, his girlfriend from a different state, they were “just friends” and she always texted him things like “I miss you and love you” he would go on private phone calls to her when we would go on dates and I trusted him enough to have sex with him. The fourth time we had sex he called me Cassy, while we were having sex. We had went out to the pepper sisters and watched the sunset at the beach, 2 things I still can not do. We had problems but doesn't everyone?
On my 15^th birthday we hung out with Tristan and Bryson we saw iron man in the theater, I hate that movie now. That was the first time he suspected me of lying about my age, because Tristan told him I was a lying slut behind my back, and stole money from me. I cried and ran out of the theater, called my dad and we went out to ihop, then went back to my moms and I spent the night with my Best friend ever since I was 5, Tayler. And the next day we bleached our hair and I had to dye mine black again because it turned out terrible. Then I hung out with Alex and everything was okay again. He bought me red roses and a emerald necklace (my birthstone)I never took that necklace off. It meant everything to me. He meant everything to me. Everything.
I missed my period, one month, then 2 . I took a pregnancy test, I was pregnant. I did not know what to do but I know I wanted to keep my baby. Alex did not feel the same. He told me that his mom would never let me see him and he would have to move and I HAD to have an abortion. We went to planned parenthood and he found out my real age. And so he made me have an abortion and promised me we would be together forever if I did. He said nothing could separate us. We would get married and have kids when we were ready. The day I had the abortion was a Tuesday in July. The worst day of my life I think. It hurt, but not just physically, emotionally even more. And after it was over I fell into Alex's arms and cried, I cried for my baby who I had just killed. I cried from regret, because who was more important Alex or my baby? I wanted my baby so bad. I needed the life I just took. I took a life. A fact I still have trouble with today.
3 days is all it took for him to leave me. No baby, no Alex. Just me alone with my mistakes. He left me on a Friday, we got together on a Friday also. Alex called me and asked me to come to his house and said he needed to talk. I had no idea he was leaving me. He cried, then I cried. We both cried together I bought him roses, and he broke up with me. I have never bought roses for anyone since. After he broke up with me, we had sex. And then he made other plans with his friends so I spent the night with tayler. I have never felt so much pain in my life. Alex broke me apart. I tried to let go. Took off his necklace and burned his pictures. He is still here 3 years later. Tearing me apart inside and it is all my fault. I still love him and miss him
   

homeless teens

     I thought alot about what to write about today and I think I need to write about homeless teens. Did you know that over 40% of the homeless in america are under 18? I grew up homeless, my mom kicked me out when I was 9, and my dad was a very bad alcoholic. I had spent time in foster care before this and some pretty bad things went on.  I think that foster care is a good program but some kids slip through the cracks as I did. I became addicted and it became a way of life. I had no one to help me out of my mistakes thankfully I have a wonderful grandma, I have been sober for almost 2 years now. I also volenteer at a youth center in bellingham washington called Amy's Place. The ONLY youth center in whatcom county. if you are under the age of 18 in Bellingham you can not go to the mission and all the other help for the homeless is 18+ except for churches who serve food a couple times a week. We do not have the funding to have a shelter yet, so we have a drop in center, we dont ask questions, except for age and name. We are open fridays and saturdays, all we can afford right now. We ushally have a home cooked meal, or pizza. We have person hygene products, clothes and moral support, we have an Xbox, and a computer. We encourage all kids under the age of 24 to come and have out. We also incourage volunteers and donations our website is www.amysplaceforyouth.org. Youth need help. our average teen is from 12-18 years old. I enjoy working with them so much, they are so smart, you have to be out on the streets life is hard for them. At Amys place things get hard, we dont always get funding but we will never give up! these kids need help! so spread the word!  

fist blog?

    Well this is my first ever blog. I like to write a lot but I was never really good with school, so I am sorry if my writing is not very good. I have never written like this either, mostly I write poetry. I kinda like this though, except I am not sure what exacly to write. Maybe I should read some of the things other poeple have written on this website. I will, it makes me wonder though how many poeple will acually read my blog. I hope atleast some poeple will. I am new to this website so I have no idea how anything works. Lol